The Approach
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Smile
The quickest way to win someone over is with a smile. A smile shows strangers you're confident, positive, happy and non-threatening in less than a second. The positive energy of a smile leads to more people welcoming your approach. Why? They're hoping your energy and confidence will rub off on them.
Approach Physics
There are proper angles to the approach. Always try to approach people from an angle within their field of vision. A straight-on approach appears aggressive and can be perceived as threatening. An approach from behind can be startling and is rarely well-received.
The key is to let them see you coming. If you're walking casually in their direction, they don't know if you're going to stop and talk with them. Let them adjust to your presence and absorb your confidence before you make your move. Have them anticipating your approach, but still not 100 percent sure you're going to approach them.
An approach also seems livelier if it includes motion. The energy of motion gets transferred upon approach. So try not to approach someone while sitting or standing still. Approach while walking by or leaning on the bar/wall beside them. Use the dynamics of motion to your advantage.
Be original
Originality is key. The reason, "How about the weather we're having?" doesn't work is it's forced, boring and goes nowhere. It's unoriginal. It's not fun. Capture someone's attention with something they've never heard before. Ask them "If you had to fight someone in here who would it be?" or "If you could have any superpower what would it be?"
Be positive
Project a positive outlook upon approach. Keep you chin up, eye contact strong, smile seductive and walk with a skip in your step. Singles that project positive energy always have better interactions with others because they transfer that energy to whomever their interacting with.
Keep your body language positive, use only positive conversation starters and stay away from any negative topics. Focus on topics that make them feel great. This causes the person you're interacting with to be more open, comfortable and confident because you're providing them with positive energy and emotions.
Be smart
Wait for a lull in conversation before you approach. If you interrupt a person mid-conversation, you place them in an awkward situation. If they break off their conversation, they risks insulting their friends, implying talking to a stranger is more important than talking to them. Therefore, even if they want to talk with you, they will likely ignore you in favor of continuing the conversation.
Be heard
Speak up. Make sure everyone can hear what you're saying. A common mistake most men and women make is speaking too softly. In a loud environment, you have to make an effort to be even louder. A loud voice also advertises confidence in one's words and personality. So don't be afraid to pump up the volume.
Time limit
When you approach a group or single, the first thing they think is, 'When is this person going to leave?' Answer this question right away. Tell them you can only stay for a second before you have to get back to your friends. If they like you and want you to stay, no one will question why you haven't left after a couple minutes.
To make your time limit more effective, lean away from the group or rock your body slightly so it looks like you may turn and leave at any second. Use your body language to cement your time allowance.
Work the room
Approach everyone. If you just approach people you're interested in, this will quickly become very apparent to everyone else and lessen your chances with other singles. No one wants to be your second choice. Think of yourself as the person who's there to ensure everyone has a good time. Have everyone saying, 'Who is that person?'
Meet more people
The only way to master the approach is to get used to approaching strangers. Approach new people at every opportunity. Ask someone what they'd like to be doing instead of waiting in the coffee line-up. Ask the person next to you on the bus about their ideal travel destination. Ask a salesperson about their dream job while trying on new shoes. Amazing conversations are everywhere - if you're willing to start them.
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Chris Schmidt / iStockphoto.com
If you're willing to approach, you can turn coffee into conversation.
| APPROACH TIPS |
| Accept imperfection |
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If you wait for the perfect opportunity to approach, you're going to let too many dates walk by. There is no perfect time to approach. There is no perfect opening line. Every time you approach, your goal is to get better, not strive for perfection. Don't chase the unattainable - use your energy to chat with an attractive single instead. - allstardatingtips.com |
