Creating Sexual Tension
continued...
4. Detachment - Again, an independent, secure singles don't seek other people's approval. They can stand alone and separate of their opinion, and it doesn't ruffle their feathers if someone doesn't like something they did or said. This means the ability to walk away, turn away, and otherwise disengage from an attractive single so that they understands you are not there to kiss their ass.
Another way to show this is to allow for long pauses between contacts. Don't email them right back. Don't call them right back. Let a few days pass. Give them a chance to miss you. (Instead of wondering why you're so desperate that you leave five messages every day.)
These are just some of the ways you can heighten the level of sexual tension.
Now, there are some singles out there that are afraid of raising this tension. I suspect this is partly because this kind of tension feels uncomfortable to them. It can often border on making her angry which is something that most singles are afraid to do. After all, you want them to like you, right? How will making them potentially dislike you help?
Well, it's really about a push-pull effect. The idea is to induce a gentle tug-of-war with her that will get things started. When they think you're going to pull, you give them slack, which throws them off balance. And that's when you pull them back in.
It's just like fishing: Give them a little "line," and see if they bite. When they do, you pull in a little. (Too much too quick and you yank the hook right back out.) Then you give them a little slack so they think they're free, and the hook digs in a little more. Then you give it a little tug to pull them back in.
Push-pull. Reel them in, let them go.
The tension you are elevating has only one kind of outlet - sexual attraction. Sometimes it will even start out as anger and then evolve into passion and lust. (The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.)
You're better off with a single that is angry at you than one that has no feelings for you. Your knee-jerk reaction to their anger is to smooth out the problem, afraid that you've somehow lost them. When you don't need, you can't lose.
Again, passion very often starts out with a single appearing to dislike the other person at first.
(Review how this happens in the first Indiana Jones movie, as well as the movie The Breakfast Club, and especially the police station scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yes, they are movies, but they accurately depict how this phenomenon works. And if you'll watch it closely, it may seem counter to what you might think, but at a gut level - it makes sense and feels right.)
Don't be afraid of that tension. Feed off it and escalate it. This will make the difference between the person that walks away with the sweet taste of an attractive single on his lips... or the bland and disappointing taste of their "friendship."
* Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as Secrets of the Alpha Male, Approach Women - NOW! and Alpha Immersion. Xuma offers dating help for both men and women and can be reached at www.datingdynamics.com
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Xuma says attraction is greatly enhanced by sexual tension.
| BUILDING TENSION |
| Embrace your sexuality |
|
We are all sexual creatures. It's important people see you as one. Make solid eye contact and flirt to ensure you don't land in the 'let's just be friends zone' later. If you try to be non-sexual to avoid being seen as a threat, you're not going to be seen as potential dating material either. Have singles see you in a sexy, playful and flirtatious way. - AllStarDatingTips.com |
