Projecting Personality
Show off how amazing you are
By Carlos Xuma, All-Star contributor
Updated: 4:19AM, May 1, 2008
Have you ever met someone that you felt was just really boring? Bland? Dull?
It's interesting, because it's rarely about what a person has that adds up to their being boring; it's what they're missing. A person lacks personality because they are like a song without any hook or catchy riff.
You gotta have personality if you're going to get a woman interested in you.
A woman has to feel that static crackle around you, that you're not like the rest of the chumps with "Looking For Sex " tattooed on their foreheads.
She wants to see some spark, some glimmer of magical presence that you carry.
A woman walks through life fairly bored with her relationship possibilities. I have a theory that most men don't really challenge them at all. For you to make an impression, you just have to offer her something she doesn't usually get from the salad bar.
Can you excite her? Can you demonstrate a man with qualities that separates him from that pack of wild hyenas?
To snap her out of her stupor, what would you be willing to do? What if I told you that you don't have to do much to wake her up? You don't have to juggle, or dance, or perform acrobatics.
You've just got to stand out from the rest of the guys out there. You've got to be willing to display some PERSONALITY.
What makes up "personality"?
Mystery - The self-control to keep certain secrets and avoid telling her everything about you.
Humor - Make her laugh
Confidence - The willingness to be independent and not needy of a woman
Originality - Thinking different than the crowd
Excitement and Positivity - The great attitude and energy of a person with a purpose
Hobbies and interests - Other than women. This is what it means to "get a life."
Conversational Ability - The ability to communicate with women on a level they can understand and get excited aboutThere are other, subtler traits that could be talked about in boring detail, but these are the important aspects of projecting a winning personality to women.
If I were to boil it down to just two of these, I'd say humor and conversational ability are the foundation, and the others just serve as polish to make you gleam in her eyes.
If you can make her laugh - a real laugh that says she finds you witty and amusing, without putting yourself down - you will get her to open the door of opportunity for you.
If you can talk to her about that and everything else in between, without making her feel like you're trying to get her into bed, that you appreciate her as unique and special, you'll get to step inside that door of opportunity.
PERSONALITY SABOTAGE
Would you like to know what you're doing that sabotages this along the way?
There's one thing you do that undermines all this effort to get her attracted with your witty conversation, and you have to get rid of it to succeed long term.
The single behavior that shoots down more potential relationships and is completely under your control is... Are you ready for this?
The single behavior that shoots down more potential relationships and is completely under your control is .... COMING ON TO A WOMAN TOO STRONG.
Now the funny part about me telling you that is that you can hear me tell you this, and you'll even nod your head and say, "Yeah, dude, I know..."
But you won't stop doing it!
Why?
Why can't you stop yourself?
CONTINUED: Keeping under control1 | 2 | Next >
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Dating expert Carlos Xuma says singles have to learn how to project personality.
| Carlos Xuma |
| The Alpha Male of dating |
|
Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating field and an author of best-selling e-books such as Secrets of the Alpha Male, Approach Women - NOW! and Alpha Immersion. Xuma has been featured in Maxim, Playboy radio and is a favorite of online advice websites. Xuma offers dating help for both men and women and can always be reached at www.datingdynamics.com. - AllStarDatingTips.com |
