Create Sexual Tension
Avoid simple slip-ups
By Carlos Xuma, All-Star contributor
Updated: 4:19AM, September 1, 2008
One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.
Remember that when you first begin to interact with a woman, unless she already has a strong initial attraction for you - sometimes known as "chemistry", you are in a neutral zone with her.
This is a place where she has yet to make up her mind as to whether you are interesting to her or not.
Now, you can choose to sift through dozens and dozens of women looking for the few that you have that instant "chemistry" with, but I find it much more practical to stimulate the woman's attraction so that she has that chemistry right away, and then I can choose whether or not to act on my own attraction.
It's like getting a pre-approved loan and knowing you COULD go out and buy that new Porsche, but it's YOUR choice.
This, guys, is what seduction is all about. Having your own choice as to whether a woman interests YOU or not, not the other way around.
Back to the Neutral Zone (and I'm not talking about that Star Trek term, either...)
In order to get that tension going - a necessary tension - you need to zap her out of her neutral funk and get her into feeling EXCITEMENT. There are many ways to do this:
1. Teasing - You find little areas of insecurity, and you play with them a little. This isn't to belittle her or make her feel bad about herself, but to demonstrate your own confidence and security by showing that you're aware of your own dominance as a man, and that you do not fear her.
Teasing also lowers her guard a little so that you can reach that "real" part of her personality that she is cloaking with defensive behavior. (Sometimes called "tease to please")
2. Humor - Humor takes the edge off your teasing (sometimes called cocky/funny). Women are dying to laugh. There are so many guys out there that have ZERO humor to them. They take everything too seriously, including women, which - honestly - creeps them out.
Compare: A man with humor enjoys life, is relaxed enough to find the fun in everything, and shows that he has a sense of inner calm. A man without humor is not relaxed, takes things way too seriously, and tends to smother and convey insecurity with his intense behavior.
3. Contradiction - An independent, secure guy can express his own opinion (and he MUST). You should make it a point to contradict her opinion from time to time to demonstrate that you do not need her approval.
He doesn't do it to prove her wrong, but to state his own belief in clear terms. And this includes calling her on her bratty behavior, as well as taking control when the situation demands it.
This may be the toughest behavior for most "nice guys" to adopt. And it will also sound radically contrary to what you've been brought up to believe by the media and your mom.
CONTINUED: More sexual tension techniques1 | 2 | Next >
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Dating expert Carlos Xuma says singles have to learn how to project personality.
| Carlos Xuma |
| The Alpha Male of dating |
|
Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating field and an author of best-selling e-books such as Secrets of the Alpha Male, Approach Women - NOW! and Alpha Immersion. Xuma has been featured in Maxim, Playboy radio and is a favorite of online advice websites. Xuma offers dating help for both men and women and can always be reached at www.datingdynamics.com. - AllStarDatingTips.com |
