Conversation Skills
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Leave interviews to the police
What's your name? Where are your from? Where do you work? Where did you grow up? When people answer these questions, the questioner often mistakes politeness for interest. Stay away from any question you were asked in your last job interview. These questions can be asked later in the conversation, after a connection has already been established.
Assume they're interested
Launch into conversation with the belief they're interested in you. This allows you give off an aura of confidence. It lowers social inhibitions and allows you to ask deeper questions. You'll also be more of a sexual creature and find it easier to build sexual tension. Only when they give signs of disinterest should you ever assume otherwise.
DON'T
Tell your life story
Keep a sense of mystery and intrigue. You don't want to give away too much too early. Make them ask for more information. A common mistake people make is telling their life story before the first half hour is up. Think about it. A poker hand isn't nearly as interesting if everyone shows their hands the instant the cards are dealt. Focus on their passions - not their personal history. Only once a connection is made, should you start to divulge these details.
Say whatever pops into your head
Think before you speak. What sounds good in your head doesn't always sound good when it escapes your lips. Give everything a sober second thought. Not doing so can wreck even a great conversation. Something witty can turn into something awkward, embarrassing or confusing if it comes out wrong. Save yourself some hassles and choose your words carefully.
Switch personalities
If you're loud and rowdy one moment and quiet and reserved the next, it's going to put people off balance. Pick one personality. If you have multiple personality disorder you're not going to do well in the dating world. Minor unpredictably is good, major unpredictably is scary.
Quickly switch topics
If you are discussing a topic they're showing interest in, there's no reason to change topics. If you don't believe the topic will lead to a connection, slowly transition out of it and into a topic you believe can. Quickly jumping from topic to topic looks like you're trying to win them over, not have a real conversation.
Be afraid to move them
If the music is too loud or there are too many distractions, move them to a different location. If you've piqued their interest, take them by the hand or use your hands to steer them to a better conversation spot. Your job is to have an unforgettable conversation. If another spot improves the chances of that because it's quieter or has fewer distractions - take them there.
Talk about taboo topics
There are four conversation killers that can destroy a great chat in seconds. Just mentioning one of these taboo topics can be enough to leave a bad first impression. So steer the conversation away from these icebergs or risk sinking your chance of landing a date.
Sex
Sex is an intimate and personal activity. The sex life of someone you just met is none of your business. Immediately asking people about their favorite positions, the number of people they've been with, the last time they had sex, how many STDs they've had, is not going to impress - it's going to ensure you never see the inside of their bedroom.
Talking about sex too soon does the opposite of what people hope it's going to do. Instead of having them think about you sexually, they see you as sexually inadequate, a poor lover and sexually unconfident. Great lovers never feel they have to brag about how great they are.
The best way to broach this subject is suggestively. Sly words with a flirty smile. Dance around the topic. Insinuate. But never approach sex directly with someone you've just met. You want to ensure them, if you were to have sex, what you do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Show them you're comfortable with the topic, but not the kiss-and-tell type.
Money
Keep your wallet closed. People make the mistake of trying to show off how much money they have or brag about all the cool things they own. It doesn't work - unless you're trying to attract gold-diggers. If that's the case, Kevin Federline is wondering if he can meet you for dinner. The type of person you want to attract would never be impressed by a bank statement.
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Rasmus Rasmussen / iStockphoto.com
Be sure not to turn the conversation into a police-like interrogation.
| CONVERSATION TIPS |
| Interest should be earned |
|
People don't respect what they haven't earned. Make them earn your interest and affection before you show any interest. Otherwise, they'll feel like there would be no chase, no spark, no fun between the two of you because they'd have you wrapped around there finger in a matter of minutes. Even if you approached them, play hard to get. - allstardatingtips.com |
