How Guys Mess Up 1st Dates
Nervousness is contagious
By David DeAngelo, All-Star contributor
Updated: 8:16AM, October 1, 2008
I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me for dating advice on how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on the first meeting or the first date.
I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter to a concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman you've just met.
A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES
I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they meet a "potential mate".
Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we can see where this goes."
Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."
In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...
But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.
And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.
I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.
I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.
THE ANSWER
The simple dating advice here is...
DON'T DO IT.
If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had a chance to get started.
Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the love of your life is something you should NEVER do.
Instead, take a very different approach.
My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.
The MAIN reason that I do this...
SURPRISE...
IS THAT IT'S TRUE!
Duh.
The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible "long term" with most men. In other words, there if you do get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the chances are that she's going to have things about her that you don't like.
One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is "You're screwing up your chances with me".
CONTINUED: Stop messing up dates1 | 2 | Next >
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Dating expert David Wygant looks at overcoming dating fears.
| DAVID DeANGELO |
| An internet dating powerhouse |
|
David DeAngelo is an American entrepreneur, author and dating advisor. He is the founder of Double Your Dating, a company providing dating advice to men and women. DeAngelo is one of the world's most recognized names in the dating industry, offering downloadable e-books, audio CD and training DVDs to singles looking to improve their social skills. He can be found at www.doubleyourdating.com. - allstardatingtips.com |
