Communication Styles
continued...
But what I've found is that, although more often than not 'he talkers' are men, there are quite a lot of women running around who are 'he talkers.' So even when you've mastered the art of 'she talk,' you'll still find women who are 'he talkers.' Those women will brag about their accomplishments.
They're random. When you talk to her, you'll almost feel like you're talking to your little brother.
Just because men and women have physical attributes that define them, this doesn't mean that every man speaks 'he talk' and that every woman speaks 'she talk.' Understanding that this is true will help you understand why you just don't click with certain people.
Understanding this will also help you accept one simple truth: You are not going to be able to communicate and connect with every single member of the opposite sex, no matter how good you become at mastering the art of conversation.
There are going to be women who are 'he talkers.' Even though you will learn to speak and master 'she talk' you'll still run into women who are 'he talkers.'
Communication is defining who you are. If you're a 'he talker' and you don't want to master the art of 'she talk,' then you'll only attract women who are 'he talkers.' That is what the power of communication and conversation are all about.
I've been a 'she talker' my whole life. I've always been able to walk into a room, strike up a conversation with anyone, and connect with those that are 'she talkers.'
There are also levels of 'she talking.'
Level 1 is the small talk 'she talker.' This person is really good at having conversations about the weather, your job or the traffic.
Level 2 of a 'she talker' is a person who likes to get very deep and loves the fact that you want to listen, but is scared to ask you any questions.
Level 3 is 'the interrogator she talker.' This is a person who wants to know everything, and questions you about everything. They don't want to assume the meaning of anything... they want it clarified.
Level 4 of a 'she talker' is a person who has done years of work evolving their soul. They usually take yoga and have been on many retreats. They want to get to the deepest level of conversation and stay there, because that is what really turns them on at the deepest level.
Most men get really frustrated. They think that just because they're learning how to flirt, that they're going to connect with every woman.
I'm a Level 4 'she talker.' I get along with and can communicate with virtually any woman. I don't, however, really connect on a deep friendship or romantic level with Level 1 and Level 2 'she talkers,' nor do I connect on a deep friendship or romantic level with female 'he talkers.' I've accepted this. If you're clear about the level of communication you want and what you want to embrace, then you will understand why you do and don't connect with certain women.
You have to realize that you're not going to connect with every woman. If you're a 'he talker,' you may get along with a Level 1 'she talker' but you are not going to get along with a Level 4 'she talker.' Your best bet is to meet a female 'he talker' or a Level 1 'she talker.'
So, what is the first step? The first step is to define the communication style or level with which you're most comfortable. If you're going to remain a 'he talker,' you're only going to attract the type of woman I mentioned above.
If you want to be a master communicator, then I suggest you start mastering Level 1 'she talking,' and work on that for some time before you try to master Level 2 through Level 4 'she talking.' But even being a Level 1 'she talker' will open you up to meeting so many more women than being just a 'he talker.'
Understanding how someone speaks the language is the key to understanding why you just don't connect with every person of the opposite sex. Until you master this, you might as well be dating Russian women who speak Russian. Even though the women you're pursuing speak English, it doesn't mean they speak your version of English.
One last question...
Have you ever met a woman whom you felt as though you'd known forever, and where the conversation felt like it just flowed and seemed like her thoughts were your thoughts? This is what happens when you understand the dynamics of 'he talk' and 'she talk,' and when you understand the dynamics of your conversation style. This way you don't waste your time on women who don't speak your form of English.
* David Wygant is one of the world's most sought after dating experts, having appeared on E, Dateline, ABC News, CBS Good Morning, Inside Edition, MTV, Fox News, The Learning Channel, BBC, and Blind Date. Wygant is the author of Talking To Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life. He can always be found offering advice at www.davidwygant.com.
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Wygant says communication is the first step to developing chemistry.
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If you understand the opposite sex, you'll have fewer fights, communicate on a deeper level and appreciate them more. Understanding why men and women do what they do, eliminates a lot of the stress, unnecessary arguments, self-doubt, worry and allows you more time to appreciate one another. Nearly all long- term couples have developed this understanding and flourish because of it. - allstardatingtips.com |
