Opportunity missed
A freshman's misery and victory
By Vincent, New York, USA
All-Star contributor
Updated: 6:38PM, February 14, 2008
It was a madhouse. The first day of school and it seemed like the entire university was packed inside the dangerously overcrowded bookstore. Dodging elbows, knees and frightened freshmen, I felt like I was running with the bulls in Pamplona.
Slipping into an isle to avoid the steady crush of humanity, I crouched down and grabbed an English 101 textbook off the bottom shelf. As I thought about how I couldn't get out of the store fast enough, a soft voice asked if I could grab her a textbook as well.
I swivelled around and handed the book to a stunning brunette. Our eyes met and my body tensed. My heart began to pound in by ears. I starting to sweat. My voice was suddenly nowhere to be found.
She smiled at me as she took the book and I began to rise from the floor, introducing herself as Jasmine. When she unexpectedly got bumped from behind. She lost her balance and stumbled into me, her books slamming into my chest. "My name's Tom," I managed to say, as she regained her balance, her face red with embarrassment.
She waited for a moment, waiting for me to say something, anything, but I couldn't find the words. I simply stood there. Then, with a quick "thanks" she turned and melted back into the crowd.
I stood in that spot for what felt like hours. Refusing to move. I was in shock. I couldn't believe I'd wussed out. I'd been given the opportunity of a lifetime and blown it. I had fallen on my face. I was an embarrassment to mankind.
Finally, I picked up my books... and what was left of my pride, grabbed my textbooks, paid for them and fled the bookstore. I felt sick to my stomach, cursing myself for freezing up. I barely slept that night, my mind unable to stop replaying the interaction over and over again.
I wanted erase the incident from my mind or at least bury my moment of shame. I had a feeling it might scar me for life. So instead of forgetting about the incident, I told the story to a group of friends in the university cafeteria.
They all agreed I had blown the perfect opportunity. They joked whether or not they should nickname me 'the iceman' for freezing up under pressure. If they should revoke the right to call myself a man. They even jokingly re-enacted the event incident with each other.
After a lot of teasing, mocking and laughing they told me not to worry about it because I was never going to see her again anyway.
Until one friend reminded everyone we might be in the same class. We were buying the same textbook. A bolt of energy surged through my body at the thought. If true, I might have a chance at redemption. To get a second chance.
"If she is in my class, I'm going to go right over to her and ask her out," I proclaimed proudly, slamming my fist on the table for emphasis.
"Not if you want to land a date," a powerful voice said from behind me. "What you need to do is play it slow and cool. To be unique."
I turned around to see a sharply dressed student. He oozed confidence and senior wisdom. He also had two of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen sitting at the table with him.
"What if someone beats me to it?" I asked. He looked at me in disgust. He said if she was as attractive as I claimed - every guy on campus would be hitting on her. Better looking guys. Smarter guys. More mature guys. The only chance I had was to be different than all of them. To be unique.
CONTINUED: Second shot opportunity1 | 2 | Next >
Rosemarie Gearhart / iStockphoto.com
It's not just women who beat themselves up over missed opportunities.
| HELPFUL TIPS |
| A modern woman is assertive |
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Great daters don't wait for things to happen - they make them happen. Women have to teach themselves to more assertive in the dating world. Many women are dissappointed when an attractive man doesn't approach them, not realizing there is nothing stopping them from starting the interaction. Remember, aggressive women don't look desperate. They look cool, calm and confident. - AllStarDatingTips.com |
