Dealing with rejection
Keeping your confidence and cool
By Neal Talbot, All-Star contributor
Updated: 8:05PM, March 1, 2008
No matter how attractive or charming you may be – there will be people not interested in talking with, dating or getting into a relationship with you. This is a simple fact of life.
Some women like George Clooney but not Brad Pitt, some men like Cameron Diaz but not Angelina Jolie. Certain people like certain things - and if you don't appear to have those things - they're simply not interested. They key is to not let this rattle your self-confidence.
In the dating world you're going to face rejection. Unless you married the very first person you asked out, odds are you've had to face it. This is natural… not something to get too worried about. Some singles are filled with anger, embarrassment, anxiety, fear and shame when they're faced with any form of rejection, but this simply doesn't have to be - and shouldn't be - the case.
Remember, it’s not a matter of if you’ll face rejection in your dating life, but rather when and how will you deal with it. So, whether it’s a first approach, first date or early into a relationship, whether you saw it coming or it hit you like an unexpected bombshell, there are some key ways of handling rejection and quickly overcoming it.
Don't take it personally
In many cases, the ‘so-called’ rejection has nothing to do with you. They may be having a bad day and don’t feel like having a conversation with someone new. They may cut it off after a second date because they just got fired and they’re life is suddenly in crisis. They may break the relationship off because their unable to overcome their commitment issues. All you can do is give it your best shot and let the chips fall where they may. If you gave it your best shot – congratulate yourself on the effort – and move on.
Don’t act out
People who are single the longest can’t handle rejection. After a person rejects their attempt at conversation, they say, “That’s okay you don’t look that interesting anyway,” and storm off. They end up looking petty, silly and foolish.
After a person rejects their attempt at conversation, a smart single says, “That’s okay. But if you change your mind and want to have some engaging conversations – I’ll be over there,” and walks off with a smile on their face. This classy exit increases the likelihood of them being approach by not only the person, but all those around them.
Cancel any pity parties
A trap singles fall into is getting caught up in a pity party. They ask themselves, “Why did this happen to me?” They begin to question their self-worth. They start to second-guess themselves? They begin to develop a fear of the opposite sex. And they waste weeks, months, even years, dwelling on a rejection.
Be sure to cancel any pity parties no matter how bad you feel. They’re simply not going to help you. Instead, have a party where you invite all your friends and some attractive singles and have a great time.
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Dating expert Neal Talbot says handling rejection makes dating easier.
| NEAL TALBOT |
| An all-star dating résumé |
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Neal Talbot is the President of Attraction All-Stars Enterprises Ltd. The former reporter - turned dating coach - created All-Star Dating Tips to help improve the dating lives of millions of single men and women all around the globe. Talbot is also the author of All-Star Dating & Attraction. He can be found discussing dating in the All-Star Dating Tips forum every Monday night at 9 PM EST. - allstardatingtips.com |
