Phone Numbers & First Calls
Getting numbers and making the call
By Neal Talbot, All-Star contributor
Updated: 4:26PM, September 1, 2008
The conversation is going well. It's obvious they're attracted to you. The only thing left to do now is get their phone number. It sounds easy - and it is - if you know what you're doing. Knowing when and how to ask can be the difference between getting their digits and getting ditched.
So when do you ask? How do you ask? It's simple. And it's all about timing. Pick the perfect spot in the conversation to ask for their number and it will be tough for them to refuse. In fact, most of the time they'll be insisting you take their number. Then all you have to do is make it though the exchange unscathed.
Knowing when to call them is an exercise in common sense. Timing is based on how long they'll remember you. If they only met you for a short time or had been drinking, call them within the next two days. If you had hours of amazing conversation and a knee-buckling kiss you can stretch it out to four or five days.
The dating experts at All-Star Dating Tips have put together a detailed guide on how to prepare for that important first call. It outlines when to call, what to say, how to line up a date and how long to stay on the line. So strengthen up your phone skills and ensure you never again blow a date with a terrible first call.
GETTING NUMBERS
When to ask
Don't jump the gun. Don't ask for a number before they've done enough to earn your interest. You'll look desperate if you do. Wait until after you've made a connection, broken the touch barrier and received numerous signs of interest. If you've done all three, pick the best time to pop the question. It doesn't matter if you've been talking for ten minutes or two hours, the setup is the same.
Ask for the phone number at a high point in the conversation - when they're laughing or hanging on your every word. Have their interest piqued and emotions primed before you make your move. To ensure this, you can stop in the middle of a sentence or story and request their number. Have them full of positive emotions, thinking, "I'd be an idiot not to give them my number."
If you ask on a downturn in conversation, the energy is low, emotions are weak, and your chances of getting the number plummet. The little voice inside their head isn't screaming at them to do whatever it takes to see you again. Timing is everything when it comes to landing phone numbers.
How to ask
Now that you've picked your spot, the peak of the conversation, it is time to ask. And asking is easy. The only mistake you can make is asking in a way that looks wimpy or needy. But if you've sparked some attraction, made a connection and are having a great conversation, you have nothing to worry about.
Be direct. Break out mid-story and say, "You know, you seem really cool. Really unique. Why don't you give me your number and we can hang out some time." Or try, "You know, I've got to go soon but you're great to talk to. How can we continue this conversation?" If the conversation is going well, they'll be the one to suggest swapping numbers.
Never weaken your words by asking for permission. "Would you like to get together sometime?" is a poor substitute for, "We should get together sometime." So toss out "Can you" and "If you're not busy." If you're interesting enough, they can and will make time for you.
Keys to asking
When preparing to ask for a stranger's phone number, keep confident. Look them in the eyes. Be genuine but playful. Keep your tone energetic. Ensure your body language is relaxed. Touch their arm, shoulder or hands as you speak. And ask like you expect them to give their number to you. If you're not nervous about asking, they're not going to be nervous about giving it to you.
Reluctance
If they are unwilling to give you their phone number, don't be afraid to ask for it again. Continue the conversation and before you leave, ask again. They may have refused your first request just to see how badly you wanted it. Reluctance can sometimes be a test to see if you're a number collector or someone who's truly interested in seeing them again.
1 | 2 | 3 | Next >
Jasmin Awad / iStockphoto.com
Once you make a connection getting a number or email address is easy.
| PHONE NUMBER TIPS |
| Take a number |
|
Make sure you get their phone number. Exchange phone numbers. Have them call you and save the number in your cell phone. Get them to jot it down on a napkin. Just make sure you have their number. If they take your number there's no guarantee they're going to phone. Don't leave things in the hands of fate. Leave them in your own capable hands. - allstardatingtips.com |
