Understanding Men
A closer look into the world of man
By Neal Talbot, All-Star contributor
Updated: 4:22PM, September 1, 2008
Men aren't from Mars. Women aren't from Venus. The two sexes may sometimes seem worlds apart, but they just communicate their thoughts and emotions in very different ways. This is to be expected. Men are wired different hormonally and neurologically from women, and have been socialized differently from birth.
Men communicate differently than women. Men react different emotionally. Men speak differently. Men face different expectations. A woman who understands and accepts these differences can dramatically improve her relationships with men. Men are no mystery. They are very predictable. Very easy to read. Understanding how men work is vital to your dating success, so take some time to re-educate yourself on men.
The first thing you must do is toss away any preconceived notions you have about men. Men are not 'the enemy.' They aren't emotional dead-beats. Men don't want to be single forever. They aren't 'just after one thing.' Men are just as complex and beautiful as women. It's time to see them for that. Inside all the machismo, ruggedness and bravado is person just like you; full of dreams, hopes and fears.
It's time to peel away the outer layers of men, past the confident smile, power suit, and chest hair, and look into the soul of man. And once you understand why men are the way they are, you may find yourself respecting the challenge of being a man and being able to communicate with them in ways you never thought possible.
So store your emotional baggage in the overhead compartment, open up your heart and take some time to explore the mind of man.
Let men be men
The main problem women have with men is they expect men to act and think like them. It's never going to happen. Doing so goes against every evolutionary urge and societal stereotype a man has. Women must accept men are men. It's time for women to embrace this fact - not fight it.
Instead of expecting men to think, speak and act like them, women should spend their time and efforts on better understanding men. Learn about the challenges and pressures of being a man. Learn how men react to certain situations. Learn how to read them. Learn how to avoid misunderstandings. Don't try to change them - learn to understand them.
Communication styles
Men and women communicate very differently. One uses details to make decisions, the other uses emotion. One talks nearly three times as much as the other. One likes to talk face-to-face, the other doesn't. Therefore, it's no wonder men and women have trouble communicating. Yet, with a little understanding of how men operate and how to translate, these different communication styles can be overcome.
Fact vs. Emotion
Men communicate fact. It is the currency of their language. Decisions are made on words and numbers. It may pain men to do something, but the facts don't lie. Emotions almost always take a backseat to facts. The emotional settings of men are far lower than women. An emotional plea is far less effective on men, than women. Therefore, men are far less likely than women to make decisions based on emotion.
Men of few words
Men are reluctant verbal communicators. They simply don't talk as much as women. Men use an average of 2,000 words per day; women 7,000 words per day. Think about it. A man can sit down with the guys to watch the Super Bowl, talk only sporadically throughout the three hour game and then drive home happy thinking about how nice it was to catch up with the guys again. To a woman this would be unthinkable if she got together with the girls.
Conversation face off
Men view face-to-face communication as a threat. Notice how on boxing and wrestling posters the two main combatants are placed face-to-face. It's not an accident. It represents a stance of aggression for men. Women on the other hand, prefer to talk facing one another. Men prefer to talk standing or sitting side-to-side. So just because a man's not looking directly at a women doesn't mean he's not giving her his full attention.
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Nicholas Monu / iStockphoto.com
It's important women take a quick peek into the often-hidden world of man.
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