Understanding Men
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Language of man
While women are masters at hidden meaning, subtle hints and subliminal suggestions, men are more simplistic. More direct. They have to be. They talk less than half as much as women. This is why they rarely mix messages. There is no mystery to his message. No decoding necessary. Wise women take a man's words for face value and don't waste time looking for hidden meaning that's not there.
Avoid communication mishaps
Knowing how men communicate, knowing they aren't as emotional, talk less, and don't always talk face-to-face, can avoid misunderstandings. Misinterpreted, women may see these three actions as disrespectful or acts of disinterest. It could lead to anger, resentment or self-doubt. Knowing how men communicate will allow women to avoid all these potential misunderstandings.
Emotional styles
Men have traditionally been emotionally repressed. For more than a century men haven't been allowed to cry, show their feelings or express how they really felt for a woman. Since childhood men were taught it was taboo to express their emotions.
They were taught emotions were something to be controlled, avoided or repressed. Their fathers, community leaders and Hollywood's leading men only reinforced this opinion. Therefore, men aren't as emotional as women.
Getting a man to open up to you, to pour out his heart and soul, to share his dreams and aspirations, how he's feelings, what he's thinking, isn't going to happen overnight. Only after trust and security have been established will a man begin to open up emotionally.
Decades of training aren't going to instantly fade away, no matter how perfect you are for each other. If you try to force him to open up before he's ready to do so, you will find yourself looking for new man shortly thereafter.
Dangers
For men, showing emotions is dangerous. Especially around other men. Men expect other men to avoid being overly emotional. It makes men uncomfortable if another man is emotionally sensitive or in touch with his feelings. If a man is, he's going to be accused by other men as not being manly enough.
It happens all the time, and reinforces the stereotypical role of men as 'rough and tumble' characters created to overcome physical challenges. Not characters who get touch with their feelings.
It's important for women to understand men will never be as emotional as women. Everyone around them but you is pressuring him to hide his emotions, so don't expect him to suddenly open up once you start dating. It takes time, trust and perhaps some Tequila, to get men to open up emotionally. So be patient.
Biological Influence
Men and women have very different biological agendas. A man is biologically driven to ensure the existence of future generations by impregnating as many women as possible. A woman is biologically driven to ensure the safety of her children and herself. This can lead to a biological divide.
Commitment
Men are naturally inclined to avoid commitment. Women are naturally inclined to expect a man commit to help her during pregnancy help raise the child. While society's views on relationships may have changed somewhat, our biological impulses have not. Evolution happens slowly, not overnight. Think of the body as an outdated machine, that hasn't had its program updated to today's values and expectations.
Testosterone
As long as men have testosterone pumping through their veins, the biological divide will cause relationship friction. An elevated level of this hormone causes men to be more aggressive and sexually driven. Testosterone is the reason you hear men argue about who is the hottest Disney cartoon character. Testosterone is the reason men's heads turn when Marge Simpson comes on the TV. For those women who were interested, Jessica Rabbit from 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' usually takes home the title of hottest Disney cartoon character.
Biological purpose
Women have to understand that men's enhanced sex drive was key in keeping the species from going extinct. Instead of worrying about it, take advantage of it in the dating world. Use this sex drive to catch his attention with your body language and clothes. Then once you've got it, show him what an amazing woman you are.
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Janne Ahvo / iStockphoto.com
Men are not emotionless dummies but rather trained to supress emotion.
| UNDERSTANDING TIPS |
| Don't expect a man to change |
|
One of the most common mistakes women make is thinking they're going to change a man. To make them more like themselves. Men can't become more like women. Their biology and socialization won't allow it. Men can change if they want to, but only in small ways - being more appreciative, better dressers, more relaxed. And even then it's not going to happen overnight. - allstardatingtips.com |
