Understanding Men
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Pressure... to be a provider
From the beginning of time man has played the role of provider. Men marched off to fight wars, form empires and obtain wealth to ensure their families were fed, clothed, sheltered and safe from danger. A man's first priority was always to ensure his family was provided for, so his bloodline continued on. Personal glory, power and respect were sought, but only after being a successful provider.
The rise of the industrial age made glory, power and respect easier to obtain. It changed the face of the world, but not the role of provider. In fact, society's expectations for the provider became even more demanding. Without a caste system to hold him down, a man was expected to rise to prominence. If he raised a family but not his social status, he was suddenly looked at as a disappointment.
The computer age has changed the speed at which the world operates. Things that once took days, even months, now take seconds. Glory, power and respect have never been easier to obtain. And society's expectations have never been greater. Today a man is expected to own a home, a car, second homes, second cars or risk having his provider role questioned by friends and foes alike.
The provider role has not changed over time. But with every generation, every major advancement, more is expected of a man if he is to be labelled a 'successful provider.' The pressure of living up to this role has never been greater. A man can raise happy children, have a loving wife, a great job and still have his role as 'successful provider' questioned by society if he doesn't own a house, a healthy savings account and college fund for his kids.
While a man may not seem like he is under pressure, remember he is always striving to meet the demands of society. When you start dating, tell him you care about personality more than possessions. It should be obvious, but these words often take some of the pressure off him and create a more relaxed and genuine interaction between the two of you.
Pressure... to be a 'real' man
Not only must a man meet the role of provider, but society demands a man be a 'real' man. A man's man. A ladies man. A strong man. A smart man. A successful man. A powerful man. A rebellious man. A loyal man. A man facing conflicting, changing and sometimes confusing expectations.
Men are striving for this idea of perfection, but the qualifications keep changing from year to year, from woman to woman. Few, in any, feel they ever master the 'real' man role. Millions of men resent themselves and are harshly critical on themselves for not meeting these impossible standards. A standard re-enforced by the Hollywood Alpha Male.
Men, like women, put an incredible amount of unnecessary pressure upon themselves to be perfect. It's not healthy. And worst of all, it's not attainable. Bash the notion of perfection early in your conversation with men and you'll create a more relaxed, honest environment.
Pressure... to imitate his Alpha Male
Family and friends help form a man's value system, but it's usually Hollywood who provides them with their Alpha Male. The Alpha Male is the male role model to which a man looks up to. Men often attempt to copy the traits of their favorite on-screen heroes. Men want to be as calm and cool as Daniel Craig in James Bond, as adventurous and fun as Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones.
Men grow up following the exploits of superheroes, seductive spies and secret soldiers. Through television, movies and the pages of comic books, men are taught the traits of Alpha Males. As they grow older they begin to imitate their favorite character. In fact, a man's movie collection can tell you a lot about the type of man he strives to be.
The desire to imitate their Alpha Male is exceptionally powerful. Why don't men cry? The answer is easy. John Wayne didn't cry, Tom Cruise doesn't cry, Brad Pitt doesn't cry and Will Farrell only cries to make us laugh. So if a man wants to be like his Alpha Male, he doesn't cry either.
A woman can learn a lot about a man just by knowing his Alpha Male. If a man idolized Brad Pitt, odds are he's going to dress stylishly, keep clean cut, show a sensitive side, have a calm and cool demeanour, and place a high value on sexuality and seduction. If he idolizes 'Larry The Cable Guy,' you're in trouble.
CONTINUED: Shattering stereotypes1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Next >
Nuno Silva / iStockphoto.com
Man face all sorts of pressure from society, history, peers, and family.
| UNDERSTANDING TIPS |
| Changing a man's Alpha Males |
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Women can use a man's Alpha Male to initiate changes in him. It's as simple as introducing another Alpha Male with traits you desire more through conversation. If a man respects your opinion he'll ponder switching Alpha Males or at least examine your choice. It happens all the time. Men imitate Brad Pitt, then switch to Matt Damon, then to George Clooney. - allstardatingtips.com |
