Understanding Men
continued...
Roles in dating
The dating world expects men to do all the heavy lifting. Men are expected to approach, open and carry the first part of conversation. If that goes well, and he's able to make a connection, he is expected to ask for her number, make the first phone call and set up the date. He is expected to play to role of aggressor. While women are expected to play the role of reluctant chooser.
Equality has not extended into the dating world and few women seem willing to relinquish this upper hand. Women pride themselves on their vulnerability, yet most force men to take nearly all the risks in dating. More than 90 percent of all approaches are done by men. Men ask for phone numbers 85 percent of the time and make the first call 80 percent of the time.
The problem is, fewer 21st Century men are willing to show this vulnerability. Instead of approaching, asking for numbers or making the first call, they are keeping to themselves in record numbers. Even when they approach women, most are sticking to safe conversations. They only ask for numbers when they are 100% sure she'll give it and again offer only safe conversations over the phone.
The fear of being embarrassed saps most men's confidence. They don't want to make themselves vulnerable in case a woman rejects their advances. A single denial can shatter fragile egos. It can make men question their manliness. It can affect their self-confidence in all other areas of their life. If can make them question if they have what it takes to attract an attractive women.
To make matters worse, men face the unrealistic expectations of Hollywood movies, where men instantly sweep women off their feet. They have the perfect words, the smoothest moves, the sharpest clothes and everything comes without effort. The interaction is magical. It is impossible to live up to. The pressure to have the perfect interaction prevents many men from even trying.
If a woman wants to meet more men she should even out the dating workload. Approach. Ask for numbers. Make the first call. Even making your dating expectations more realistic will make a difference. Don't expect a man's approach to be perfect. A woman who can reduce the pressure of being vulnerable is cherished by all men.
Shattering Stereotypes
The biggest myth women pass onto each other is that 'men only want one thing.' Those who push this stereotype only show their lack of understanding about men. It is used as an excuse for women who have failed with men because they haven't taken the time to truly understand them. While it is true men have higher sex drive, they do think about long-term relationships and even marriage.
If a woman can properly communicate with a man and capture his imagination, he has no problem thinking about her with a long-term relationship in mind. If a woman is captivating enough, a man will envision marriage without having slept with her.
Most men are afraid to settle down until the right one comes along - but if they see you landing in that role - they'll happily toss their single-hood aside. Just don't expect them to admit this to you until you've exchanged rings.
Main complaint
The most common complaint men have of women is women are always trying to change them. Men are creatures of familiarity. If something works, men don't question why, they just appreciate the fact it does. The same goes for themselves. Why fix who they are or something they do, if it already works? Women don't share this view, and it leads to conflicts.
When a woman cares for a man, she wants to help him grow into a better person and improve the way he does things. She wants him to realize his full potential. She offers him a constant barrage of suggestions. Even when he resists, she persists. Her nurturing is his nagging. She feels like she's helping, while he feels he's being controlled.
This can be corrected with a slight adjustment. If a woman reassures a man he's great, before making a suggestion, the suggestion won't seem harsh or judgemental. Instead of saying 'wear a tie with that jacket' readjust the statement to, 'you look even sexier when you wear a tie with that jacket.' Instead of feeling smothered, he'll wear the tie because he wants to be sexy. So be sure to mix praise with any potential negative messages.
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Not all men are dogs. Millions are happily married - so toss the silly stereotypes.
| UNDERSTANDING TIPS |
| Understanding = Healthier Relationships |
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If you understand men, you'll have fewer fights, communicate on a deeper level and appreciate them more. Understanding why men do what they do, eliminates a lot of the stress, unnecessary arguments, self-doubt, worry and allows you more time to appreciate one another. Nearly all long- term couples have developed this understanding and flourish because of it. - allstardatingtips.com |
