Understanding Women
continued...
Roles in dating
The dating world expects women to do very little. Men are expected to approach, open and carry the conversation. If that goes well, and you're able to make a connection, you're expected to ask for her number, make the first call and then set up the date. Men are expected to play to role of aggressor in dating. Women are expected to play the role of reluctant chooser.
Equality has not extended into the dating world and women seem unwilling to relinquish this upper hand. Women pride themselves on their vulnerability, yet most force men to take nearly all the early-dating risks. More than 90% of all approaches are done by men. Men ask for phone numbers 85% of the time and make the first call 80% of the time.
The problem is, fewer 21st Century men are willing to show this vulnerability. Instead of approaching, asking for numbers and making the first call, they are keeping to themselves in record numbers. Even when they approach women, most are sticking to safe conversations. They only ask for phone numbers when they are 100% sure she'll give it and again offer only safe conversations over the phone.
It is important men embrace - not fear - the approach, conversation, and first calls. It's important men offer challenging and engaging conversations. Doing so will immediately put you head-and-shoulders above your competition. Men who aren't afraid of a woman rejecting their advances always do better with women than men who are afraid.
While having to do most the work in the dating world may seem unfair, realize society's expectations of women are equally unfair. A man who dates lots of women is seen as a ladies man, while a woman who dates lots of men can be seen as 'easy' or 'desperate.' Women have far more to lose in the role of aggressor than men and therefore many are reluctant to play the part.
If a man wants to meet more women he should embrace the heavy workload. He should approach. Ask for numbers. Make the first call. He should see this as an opportunity to show off his confidence, charm and manliness. A man who can reduce dating pressures is cherished by all women.
Shattering Stereotypes
The biggest myth men pass onto one another is that 'women want to control men.' The men who push this stereotype only show their lack of understanding about women. It is used as an excuse by men who have failed with women because they haven't taken the time to truly understand them. While it is true more women believe in the importance of self-improvement more than men, they have no desire to control a man's every action.
If a man understands the suggestions and advice a women gives him are not nagging, but her way of helping him reach his full-potential, it won't get on his nerves. He knows while men are creatures of habit, women are agents for self-improvement. Too often men misinterpret a woman's advice as an effort for her to control him. It leads to them getting defensive, angry and lowers their self-esteem. So shatter this false stereotype by better understanding women.
Main complaint
The most common complaint women have of men is that men don't listen. Women are emotional creatures. If a woman tells a man about a problem at work, a fight with a friend or a bad day at the office, she wants empathy - not solutions. Just by retelling what is stressing her, she feels better. But too often, her words are interrupted. Her stories cut short. Her distressing tales ruined. By men with advice.
When a man hears someone tell him about a problem - he immediately offers a solution. In the world of men, if another man approaches you with a problem, it is an honor. It shows the man values your opinion. Your ability to find a solution. So men are confused when they listen to a woman for a couple minutes, offer a solution and receive an icy stare in return. His gesture of love and caring is seen by her as rude and uncaring.
This miscommunication can be avoided if men just listen to women's complaints. Instead of immediately assessing what is bothering her and offering a solution to fix it. All a man needs to do is listen. Once she's done talking, he should tell her "I have total faith you'll work it out," or "That sounds like a tough day." Only if she requests a solution should one be given. Offer empathy - not advice.
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Nuno Silva / iStockphoto.com
Women don't want to control men. This is a silly stereotype told by clueless men.
| UNDERSTANDING TIPS |
| Understanding = Healthier Relationships |
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If you understand women, you'll have fewer fights, communicate on a deeper level and appreciate them more. Understanding why women do what they do, eliminates a lot of the stress, unnecessary arguments, self-doubt, worry and allows you more time to appreciate one another. Nearly all long-term couples have developed this understanding and flourish because of it. - allstardatingtips.com |
